When you give birth to a child, your life changes forever. You think differently about things. Things you never thought of before suddenly jump to the first in line. You think about your own Mother and finally appreciate her! The happiness that you feel when you hold that child compares to nothing else. You are their protector, their playmate, their world and they are yours!
Your main purpose in life is to love them, teach them and to keep them safe. You put gates up, you lock cabinets, you schedule play dates, you choose healthy meals, give them a bath, take them to school and take care of their medical needs. You fix their boo-boos and wipe their tears. It all seemed so simple then.
When your child, your flesh and blood, this child that you have loved and taken care of in every way humanly possible has succumbed to drug addiction, it’s hard to fathom what went wrong. You wonder why it happened. When did it start? Why didn’t you see it! You beat yourself up emotionally and take full blame. I’m telling you that it’s not your fault!
So the battle begins. This war that is so hard to win. It takes over your entire being. You and your family are now in for the fight of your life. It’s a debilitating way of living, but this is now your existence. You do everything you can to find treatment, be supportive, to not be judgmental and to get them well.
You are hopefully one of the lucky ones whose child has found recovery and fought their way back to you, to themselves, but it’s not always a happy ending.
For today, I am blessed. I am one of the lucky ones. I can call my daughter, know that she will answer the phone or get right back to me. She has a full time job, health insurance an apartment and a car. I get a Mother’s Day card from her. I go to the movies and laugh with her again. That sparkle is back in her eyes.
For all the Mothers out there who belong to this club we didn’t want to be in, who are fighting for their child to be well, who are praying for them, who are scared every time they don’t hear from them, who had to bury them. I stand with you in spirit and feel your every emotion. I work hard to find solutions to reduce overdose deaths and strategize to help prevention and recovery become a reality.
I truly wish you love, hope, peace and a blessed Happy Mothers Day.
Donna